Growing up is hard to do

BXP46603 (Photo credit: Wilson X)

Life has bumps.  All of life.  It seems that just when things might be going your way…. something happens that tries to bring you down.  My life has been hit with one of those times recently.  I haven’t even been able to begin to write anything for quite some time.  It’s very strange for me, a writer, to not be able to form words on a page.  Scary even.  Confusing.  But, I’m starting to dust myself off and what better way to do it than to write.  I’m going to write from a very real place without sharing details that I’m not ready to put into words yet.  And I’ve found the perfect way to do it.  This post will be part of my 30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me Series.  The prompt is The hardest part about growing up.  Here goes…..

When you’re young, all you want to do is grow up.  Big people have cars and phones and their very own money.  They get to go where they want and do what they want.  Nobody tells them what to do.  They make their own bed times and drink coffee.  It must be so nice to grow up.  And, growing up does have its perks.  But, then there’s the other side.  The part of life that makes growing up difficult and sometimes painful.

Decisions.  It sounds great to be able to make your own decisions.  Seems like the perfect way to live.  Sometimes it is.  I do enjoy eating a bowl of cereal at completely irresponsible times of the night.  And I like to choose what I watch on television. But, honestly, sometimes I just want someone to take those decisions from me.  I don’t want to have to decide what’s going to be for dinner when I’ve just had a long, stressful day.  I don’t want to have to choose whether the car gets new tires or the house payment gets paid on time. I don’t want to feel like my children’s entire lives can be changed by one decision I do or don’t make. That is a lot of responsibility. And there are days when I just don’t feel like deciding anything.
What I’m learning: Sometimes it’s ok to eat takeout after a long, stressful day. And, sometimes, you just have to close your eyes, pick the bill to pay, and pray. It will always work itself out in the end. Sometimes, you have to take a good, long look at the whole picture, make the decision that you think is right, and pray. It will always work itself out in the end. And, sometimes, you just need a day that includes a glass of wine, a good friend, and the time and space to vent about how much being an adult sucks. And know, as long as you never stop trying, it will always work itself out in the end.

Relationships. Fairy tales never give you the whole picture. Childhood doesn’t either. When you’re young, while you’re busy knowing everything, you are blissfully unaware of how difficult marriage and adult relationships can be. You think you know what love is. You think you know what committment is. But, until your love and committment are tested, you never fully realize the meaning of those words. And it’s in those moments that you are tested when you wish you could be blissfully unaware again.
What I’m learning: Relationships are hard. They are difficult and draining. They take work. They take an unbelievable amount of determination and sacrifice. Sometimes they are painful and scary. But, when you find the right person; they are worth it. The experience of loving someone so completely, of building a life and a future, of sharing all of life’s struggles and joys, is absolutely worth every single tear you may cry along the way.

Standing alone. Perhaps the hardest part of growing up is learning to walk without a safety net. The comfort and stability that you had as a child is gone. You are seemingly alone in a big, scary world. And with every wrong decision or rough patch, you wish there was someone there to help you pick up the pieces. It’s difficult to navigate when you’ve always been a passenger. It’s difficult to take the first step into the unknown without someone holding your hand. It’s difficult to begin a journey on your own. But, let me tell you this, the reward at the end of that first solo journey is a feeling that can’t ever be duplicated again.
What I need you to learn: You’re never alone. You, my children, will never be alone. I won’t be able to walk right next to you. I won’t be able to always hold your hand. I won’t be able to offer you an easy way out of every situation in which you find yourself. But, I can offer you a place to land. A safe place to lay your head when life gets rough. A place to come home to when you are overwhelmed. And, the confidence I have in you that you can accomplish everything you dream!