How to Destroy a Strong Woman

2 Oct

20180609_181059A strong woman.

She has a past.  There are people and circumstances in that past that have beat her down.  She was forged from fire and ash.  From decisions she regrets, moments out of her control, and a person she has vowed to never be again.  She created herself during years of doubt, self-loathing, insecurity, fear, and shame. She poured out tears and sweat and blood and countless prayers to become someone that she could be proud of.  She flies with her own wings. But those wings were painstakingly created with every single ounce of strength she could find. She is strong. She made herself that way.

How do you destroy a strong woman?

You build her up.  Just to tear her down.  You find pretty words to tell her.  Then tell her she’ll never be good enough.  You make sure she hears everything she wants to.  And everything she doesn’t. You never let her have any peace and never let her know where she really stands.

You make promises.  Big ones. Small ones.  You make her believe you.  Maybe you even believe yourself.  I hope you do. But you let her down.  Time and time again. You don’t hold up your end of the bargain.  You aren’t someone she can count on.

You take care of nothing.  The only thing you are able to really care about is yourself.  But you don’t even take care of your own needs. She does.  And you let her. You let her take care of everything. Of everyone.  Every time. The only option she has is to be strong. Her strength becomes her weakness because you don’t know that she has moments where she needs someone else to hold her up.  You don’t carry any of the burden, not even your own. There isn’t anyone else to share the weight of life. Even when she’s not ok.

How do you destroy a strong woman?

You take all of that confidence that she fought to build.  You take it away. You make her believe every ugly thing everyone has ever said about her.  Then, you blame it on everyone else. You blame it on her. You make her question her strength.  You make her question everything.

You destroy her dreams.  You take away her chance at happiness.  You make her cry. You make her angry. But, she is loyal.  She is a fighter. So, she fights. She fights for years. Nothing changes.  You continue trying to destroy her. You leave her no choice but to give up. To give up on the hope that she could ever really be happy.  To give up on herself. To give up on you. To give up on love. The hardest part for her to come to terms with will be that she let you.

How do you destroy a strong woman?

It may take time, but she will remember how strong she is.  She will remember how much stronger she is without you. She will remember all of the work she put into creating those wings.  She will remember how to fly. And she will.

She will put the work in to herself and her own life again.  She will set new goals, and she will reach them. She will fly to new heights.  She will add new colors to her wings. She will believe in life and love again.  She will become someone better.  Someone stronger. That’s all she knows how to do.

So, how do you destroy a strong woman?

You don’t.


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