Unsolicited advice

4 Mar

If I could give someone advice, something that I think would make their lives better, easier; I could. I would love to, in fact. And I know that my advice is something that not everyone agrees with, and that’s ok. All I can tell you is my experience, all I can give is my own opinion. And, I believe very strongly in what I’m about to say.

Don’t have sex until you get married. I know that’s “old-fashioned”. I know that you may think that you’re the only one waiting. (You’re not, by the way. There are far more people making that choice than you realize.) I know you feel like he/she won’t love you if you say “no”. Say it anyway. Chances are, that in two or five or ten years, you won’t love each other anyway. And if you do, they will respect you and love you more for standing up for yourself.

Don’t have sex until you get married. Let me tell you why I say that. Let me explain to those of you who think I sound like a hypocrite. Let me share my thoughts.

Sex is something beautiful. Well, it should be. It is designed to be a beautiful connection between two people who love each other. It is designed to be a physical representation of a love between a husband and wife. It is designed to build intimacy and create a closeness you can find nowhere else. At its most basic, it is designed to create children.

What happens is, you find someone that you think you love. You may even actually love them. You have all of these feelings and hormones you don’t understand. You think that it is an expectation. You think that, because you love this person, you are supposed to have sex with them. And then you grow up. Or you grow apart. For one reason or another, you realize that this person isn’t intended to be the one you spend forever with. You break up and move on.

That’s life. It happens. But, if you’ve had sex with this person, they take a part of you that you can never get back. They have somehow changed who you are and what you believe. They have altered your expectations and views of love and sex. They have forever impacted you.

Everybody knows the physical consequences; diseases and pregnancies. These things are taught to every middle and high school student in the nation. But no one talks about the emotional ones. No one talks about the lasting effects that only you can know.

And then, one day, that person does walk into your life. That person that you are supposed to spend forever with. That person that is worth walking through all of the trials and difficulties for. That person that makes your life more beautiful. And you regret. You regret that you don’t have every piece of yourself to give them. You regret that there have been others. You regret that someone else knows you like that. You regret that someone else has known your spouse like that.

It takes away from what could have been. It takes away from what is supposed to be. It leaves room for added insecurities and doubts. It changes things.

That’s my advice. And maybe I’m wrong…. but if I’m not, you won’t be able to realize it until it’s too late. You won’t be able to realize the full meaning behind what I’m saying until you have met Mr / Mrs Right. So, just consider it. Consider that I might be right. Consider that someone else has stood where you are, and made the decision that you’re trying to make. Consider that maybe, just maybe, what’s popular isn’t always right.

You have options. You have choices. Make sure you make the choice that is right for you…. the one that will continue to be right for you.

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